In this episode, I am joined by Author, Mind Model Coach and Mentor, Becky Graff. Becky experienced tragedy in 2020, when her two young daughters were taken from her in a flash flood while out hiking. She talks about her process of grieving and growing through this devastating experience. This is a conversation about resilience and life on the other side of tragedy.
02:20 Talking About Life
Becky is an entrepreneur in business with her husband. As entrepreneurship goes, there have been ups and downs for her. In 2020, things were going well, she was about to launch a coaching business based in behavioral study. Her family loved to get out and explore in the outdoors in the Utah area where they lived. On Mother’s Day in 2020, they decided to go for a hike in a slot canyon. On the day after Mother’s Day, the unimaginable happened. Becky and her daughters were caught in a flash flood. She almost lost her life and her daughters did not survive.
07:02 Everything Changed in Becky’s World
In an instant, everything in Becky’s world changed. She felt like she had been stripped of her purpose. Her and her husband began to work through things. She recorded the process of what she went through in that year afterwards, and put it into a book. The book was published 19 months later. She wrote the book with hopes that it would help other people who are processing grief.
09:23 Knowing What To Say
Becky talks about how before this happened, she had felt an awkwardness around knowing what to say when someone was grieving. She shares her experience being on the receiving end of that. She experienced so much love and support from others. She learned that there really is no right or wrong in these situations. It’s most important to just be there for that person in a way that feels right in your heart.
14:03 Putting It Into Words
As she continued to process, she was using journaling as a method of healing. She also started sharing a bit on social media. She began to get questions about her insights and her experience of going through this tragic loss. The people who were asking were also experiencing loss in their lives and were trying to figure out how to navigate it.
16:30 The Ripple Effect
As time went on, she learned about the impact that her daughters had made within their family and their community. Becky came to the realization that it would be sad to just leave it at loss. She started thinking about how she could use this to help others.
19:22 The Work Beforehand
The skills and concepts that Becky had been drawing off of beforehand to develop her business, lended greater value and understanding than she ever could have known. She talks about how humans crave certainty. When dealing with change or loss, it’s easy to place blame on outside circumstances. But she learned about acceptance and the power that she had in her own situation. She works on staying present every single day.
23:44 Sharing Her Stories in the Book
Becky shares how she has translated her insight and her grieving process in story form. She invites other people into the experience through storytelling so that they too can use it to grow.
25:08 Physical Healing
After the accident, not only was she hurt emotionally, but also physically. In her healing, she lost the ability to do things for herself. And for someone who was raised to be independent and self-sufficient, it was very difficult. While she was not able physically, she grounded herself in what she could control. Her process was very intentional and very active.
28:45 Chasing Triggers
We all experience triggers in our lives in some ways or another. Becky knows that triggers are unavoidable. But she also understands that she has a choice in how she lives her life. She doesn’t always want to live in a reactive state. There’s nothing in life that we can’t shift to make it something that works for us, instead of living in fear.
32:55 Silver Linings
Becky reminds us how when we are faced with challenges in life, there is always an opportunity to choose how we look at it. She reminds us to look for the good things in life because it is all around us. It’s about intentionally finding those silver linings.
Connecting with Becky
Get Becky’s Book Swept Away on Amazon: Here
Follow Becky on Instagram: @becky_graff_
Follow Becky on Facebook: Here
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