A few months ago I came across a course that was LIFE CHANGING. In this episode, my guest is the creator of this course, Amy McCready. Amy is a nationally recognized parenting expert, bestselling author, certified positive discipline instructor and the founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. This conversation will give you new and exciting strategies to empower you as a parent, as well as give you a mental reframe for how you view your kids’ misbehavior.
03:11 Finding her Calling
Amy shares how she got into this work when she was struggling as a parent herself. We don’t get training on many of the challenges we face as parents, so she decided to dive into the research on her own. By doing so, she found her calling.
04:55 A Recovering Yeller
Yelling often makes us feel tremendous guilt as moms. Amy explains the ask, remind, explode pattern and how that trains our kids to become parent-deaf over time. Amy focuses on giving parents the tools to break this cycle.
07:56 Two of the Main Needs of Our Kids
Amy explains the human emotional needs for belonging and significance according to Alfred Adler. She talks about how these needs can fluctuate within the family structure. When these needs are not met, it often manifests as misbehavior in children. With this understanding, you can feel more empowered as a parent.
15:47 Mind-Body-Soul Time
Amy has something called Mind-Body-Soul time which is 10-15 minutes of one-on-one time with the parent and child, where you are fully present on all levels. In that time, you are focusing on the child and doing what they want to do. Once you start doing this, you will see a measurable difference in behavior. Amy shares how to best utilize this ritual.
30:15 Truth Bomb #1
Kids only continue the behaviors that work for them. If their needs aren’t being met in positive ways, they will act out with negative behaviors to try to get those needs met. Even if they receive negative attention, it creates a cycle that’s working for them.
31:00 Truth Bomb #2
Parent priorities are not the same as kid priorities. The reason that we continuously get into power struggles is because we are not recognizing that, and trying to impose our priorities on them.
32:25 Truth Bomb #3
Human beings are born with free will. As parents, we think we can impose our will on our kids. While it might work temporarily, it is not sustainable because it is always their choice. We have to recognize that kids have a need for positive power and personal agency. Amy shares some ways that parents can do this.
40:08 Truth Bomb #4
The fourth truth bomb is about punishment which is based in blame, shame and pain. Kids will often lie to avoid these outcomes. As parents, it is our job to create a safe environment for the truth and give them the tools to recover when they do mess up.
43:38 Truth Bomb #5
Misbehavior is never just a kid problem. We are 50 percent of the problem. Instead of escalating and reacting to the situation, we can use the tools to diffuse it. It’s about recognizing our role in the situation.
47:20 Advice from Amy
I ask Amy’s advice on how to handle the dynamic with my older kids that love to parent. When I’m incorporating these parenting shifts that I’m learning, I want to help them understand these tactics when they are parenting the younger kids.
Resources from this Episode & Working w/ Me
Connect w/ Amy on Instagram: @positiveparentingsolutions
Amy’s Free Parenting Class: (highly recommend): micahfolsomfit.com/parenting
Amy’s Parenting Course: micahfolsomfit.com/parentingcourse
My Website: micahfolsomfit.com
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